your mortal
by XXXcl3anelbos999XXX
Summary: harry and his friends hermeonie and ron must find out why everyone is dying and coming back to life. nothing at hogworts makes sense and they must find out why. it must be solved so people will stay dead.
1. Chapter 1

hsrry was in hid room at hogwars, he was hapy caus he has pissed hes exame. his hiar was died his hare red wif theh blood uf hes enenomies becus he licked that coler

higwatrs had aloud them ti ware wahtever they wonted four the finel weak of the schol year. hermeonie caem inta hes rom and sayed "harry coem on! Its time four super!" harry smild "ok. gust let me get reday!" hairy grabed his lourde uf the wrings book taht he stol from dudly end walked out uf teh room.

the food was ok. it wus chiken wins and manase, with macdonleds chiken nugats.

they were tring tradishonal american cueasyne today. "THAS ESNT ELVERMORNY! WHY AR WE EATIN THES!?" neville longbuttum screamed quietly at the tip of his lungs. "nevvel colm dun!" dumdoor sayed

hairy went to comit som moar deth. evrywon commented deaths at higwarts becas nobodi licked anyone anemore.

he dethed a persin namd edwash coldren. he was a griffondork. hairy was a hufflepoof. hufflepoff waz cleerly the bust house in te scol becuz it had harey end harry was the best stodemt in teh schiil becaz he wax en orfan, and orfans had dethed porpoises. hairy loved with hes ant and ankle who hed a sun named duldy.

he hatted ther gots and he wented to deth thum sumdey.

harri walket to the potins closetroom and hermeonie sais to get teh bok tat edwash had readz fur her. hairrie groned "your makeing me retorn ti ta sene uf ta crime!" hi walkedt back to the place wer he dathed edwash and tok the book he had reads. the boook was shakesbeardes mcboof. harry licked that book cuz thare we're dies en it waz cool.

hairry was wakling back to the classrom wehn gildorey lickhort stopped hem and sayed "helo hairy!" harry rold hes eyes "halo, proffesser" proffsor lickhat punched hairie in the faice and scramed "CONSENT VEGETABLES HARRY!" harry dethed him and kept walking. he got to the clossetram and seated down. proffsor snap was boting. he locked at harry and said "you fluffy idot. torn to page 97 and do the potion" harry torned to paige 26 and torned the book upside don. he did the potion prefectly. he left and went to the hufflepiss dom room amd went to bed.

When harry woke up proffsor lickhat was hovering offer hem wet a glar. "I DED NOT CONSENT YOU'RE VEGETABLES" lickhort was a gast. hary scold. gass was aoting . hati took a shirt and died it red with lockhart blod. blod vas kol.


	2. Chapter 2

harry was waking to brekfast. it was choclat pancake and pepperettes, and honey gaelic sauce. it was realy god.

professor moody was in the hall he smild alot, and rote lots of books about he's avengurs. harry licked his fake eye. he dethed him because that what hufflepots do. He tock the sake eye and put it on his belt.

hati walked to the defoe again the darth arts classrom.

harri was in the libry turning skateboard macbooth into paper plans. he liked them. harry threw the plains at gosts. it was fon.

hary want to decease agenst teh dork arts coass. teh teacher was profeser lupine and he was a we'rewolf. we'rewolfs deathd pepel alot so harey licked tehm.

that dey they we're dong bogurts. boogrers we're scraey bcaus they cud turn into waht yoi we're most afeard of. when hrary locked at teh bogirt it tuned to hatis mom. haryr scremed cause he dindt went his mim to bee a life. if shr wes aliv, then hrray wastn an orfun animor. but been wif deathd prents was kol. hrairy scremed and deathd the boogort.

he waked away to find ron. He find him. "halo, ron. waht ar yew doing todau?" hatti asked. "I em dething the rat men" sayed ron "the waht?" harry asked "mi rat is a men! I watn ti deth hem!" harry grined "taht sunds kool"

harry luft ron wif his rat men end went to vist hagerd. hagerd gived harry a rok cake it was ok.

hatti end hermionie and ron wunt to get lunc. it wus apples end gravy wif deep frid pikles. moar amrecan food.

"arr you exited for kare of magic creaturs, harry?" hermionie esked. hairy noded "yas. maniacal creaturs mayke deths"

hargerd wes a giid techer. that day is constipation of majestic creators they leanrd abuut hippopotamuses. they we're part bread and part hoerse. dorko mallard got deathd bi won because he was a rood grifindork to it.


	3. Chapter 3

teh neckts dey hatti went too eth grate holl four berkfest. it wes poteato stuufedt grevy wif chocklate cuvred bakon. tradishonil amerircen fud. all teh stodents we're wispering to ech otter. haryr piked op teh weakly recursion. the front paig was abot serious bloke. he was a mess mudreir end he he'd escapped form aztec prizon. becus he he'd escapped frum aztec their we're goig too bee demon eators at higwatres two prozac teh studonts.

harry licked serious bloke becas he did alot of deeths. he hatted depressors beces thay di'dnt deth pepol, they olny sooked owt they're soups. no blud at all. hatti went out end deathd a demon straighter.

harry was at plantology width teh griffendorks. they we're reposting madatkes. they hed to were hadfones becas madate yells death people. evrywon pulld they're madirks out of the puts. the managers all yelld and harry, run, hermeonie, and teh hole coass fell to teh growned in angery. professor sport laffed.

"you idots! eye pokdt wholes in you're hedfones! know you'ill dye! ahahahahahahaha!"

and then...

they all dethd!


	4. Chapter 4

harri wok up teh neks moring end wuz nut ded. "tehs es dum" he laffed.

hatti end hermionie liked thet thei wernt deth bot ron was a bit disemboweled.

rons gust pooped enti teh transportation classicsroom. "eww" sayed hermeonie. "sumwon pot hes gits back." "ill do it." laffed profeser mcgonegirl. she peked op teh guts end shuvd tehm ento hes gost. they feel too teh flour and frooz solid. roons gist crid and ren eway. "oh hes a ded goat" laffed mcgongirl "eye canut gove him hes gust bak."

rins gist flooted bak two teh rom. "serious bloke is on teh castiel!" he y'alled. pull ut ur winchesters to defame yourselfs!"

dean scremed end pilled out hes winchester end so dad samus. serious bloke bust into teh cisroom. roons guts gut up end rsn awey. it sended griss.

serious bloke took a nif end detached all uf tem except hatti and hermeonie. he stubbed harry end even rins gost. he dispatched harry bot rons goat cudent be hurt. he locked bak at hermeonie and dethed her to.

serious bloke locked at hatti. "i lick you. I wes fries with you're farther." "relly?" sayed hatti. "you're so kool. you dethed all thise moogles! and you dethed my bother!"

"i now im teh bets." serious sayed. "my fried ratmen tryd too tak teh credet four the deths so I dethed hem two.

"ratmen? ron had a ratmen. he dethd it thow." hatti sayed.

"hoos ron?" askdt serious.

"hes the goat over their." sayed profser loopine. "wahts goig on hear?"

"im a gost not a goat." ron sayed "end serious bloke was gust dething everywon. but not me im a gost alreddy."

"serious bloke?" gasped lupine end he encased him lick not a bruther.

"thats enof." sayed harry. "can you help me death my ant and ankle?"

"sure harry. i can adapt you even." serious sayed.

"no!" hairy yelled. "then id have a prent! that would be bad!" end he dethed serious bloke.


	5. Chapter 5

teh netx day hatti end hermionie walkd to teh grate hall four brestfeed. ron was siting et teh tabl watchin his gots run arownd teh flour. for breakfast they we're having oikos yogurt. dumbdoor stood up end sayed "ohana means family and family means yoghurt" macguffin stood besyde hem end added "so you shud always eat you're family"

harry locked at hermionie and hatti sayed "i already ate our family dont worry"

ron was still stairing at his guts. they where doing a reproduction uf 'i gots no strings' end it was wired. nasal lightroom shriekd becoz hiz gramma waz swiming en his bowl of yogurt, end it was relay gros.

hatti laffed at the gramma "that es funni" end hermionie sayed "tahts totaly nargles!" es shey locked at a flooting spom. harry rolld hes I's end seyd "well im gong too clus." end luft teh hull. rons gust flowed hem, leving hermiomie end hatti alon at teh tabel

tehy locked at echothr end hermiomi soyed "yowr brotel es strange" hatti nodded end sayed "i know, and hes obsessed with blood!" hermionie lafed end thei fallowed harry end ron to teh nuxt cless.

they're next ckass was transmogrification. they we're halfing specal gusts from dungstream instrumental. won off teh guess was victory crumble, the famus kwiditch player. he wes playihg a tooba. he stooped when he saw hermeonie. "halo hermione" he sayed. "Due you went to go to hogsmeat with me thes wikipedia? we can go to teh tyree boozesticks four a buttrum."

roon garbled a trump from onother dungstern studemt. "YOU CANT DUET HERMEONIE! I LIVE HERE!" rin through teh trumper at vector. it hot hem in the fayce and deathed him instinctively.

hermeonie locked at run. "HOW CUD YOU? THET WES ME WIFF!" ron end hermeonie had a fit to teh death. hermeonie one becuz rin socked.


	6. Chapter 6

arthur's note: sum peepel half massaged me so say that sumwon on ao3 cald DefinitelyNotEnoby repotted my stoary. its ok thats my sitser i sayed she cud do that

* * *

ther ware, infect, 7 pottys et teh skol.

harry end hatti were hufflepups, harvy end henry were gryffindorks, harley end holly we're ravencows end hally wus a slootherin. harry end hatti we're twons, so we're harvey end henry, and harley end holly. two many pooters four harleys taste.

hatti wakled ento teh hol for lunc.

harvy wahs sanxjn en teh doorwey end wavdd et her "ello hatti" he sayd "hoe arr you" hatti glard et hem emd seyd "shoosh. we disembodied you" harvy gloried et hor "rood" hey mustard harry sayed "shut up yew goddy no footed gryffindork" es hey wakled passd temm.

lynch whas shwarma becuz infinite wars was good. tahr was teh olny explantayion teht severs snacks wood give. harry licked thanos. dumbdoom sauteed teht tey coldnt tim travl enymore cuz it was expensic. hatti thot thet was dumb becuz adventures was kool.

hatti griched et hermiomei es runes guts sorted to do teh chacha slide.

"noooo!11" run shuted as he scoopd up hes gots fazber stile

dumbdore sayed for roon, hermeonie, end all 7 poofers to com wid hem to hes ofyce.

"hatti i thot you sayed you ate our families allredy" harry sayed

"eye wes tocking abut our ant end ankle, eye tuned them ento yugort lest weak" hatti reptiled

"oh ok" harry sayed

"eye half very impotent news four you." dumbdore sayed. "teh resun that moldyvort wented to death teh porters, wes becuz of a porpoises."

"waht did teh proposal say?" hermeonie askt.

"it went lick thus:

teh won hoo will death the dork lord well be birth on the dey thats teh end if juli

two prents hoo defiled teh dork lord tyree tims

theyre naym will began wid teh litre that coms ateth

end they well half a twin form hoo they are nevre seprate"

"but that cud be eny won of us!" hatti role her eye. "well nit hally" she adead.

"shut you're faychole" dumbdore sayed. "theirs moar of teh purposes still:

they will half an insensity that non may commend

of this property, this es the end."

"oh that must be harry." hatti sayed "hes teh crazy won"

"but eye donut want to death moldyvort." Harry sayed. "he mad me an orfun, thats teh koolist thong evre."

"well moldyvort wants to death you end ur subscribers to stap you form deathinh hem, so you'ill hald to fit him evenly" dumbdore sayed


	7. Chapter 7

athor's note: eye gust red thus stoary in ao3. eye onky gust fond out that mu sitser "enoby" is macking fon of me on their. enob dong thos? ur the wurst sistet ever

* * *

hatti was sleping wen teh dog liked her faice. seh opned hsr eys end sawed a beg jerman sheep herd stting on har bed.

she pusd it of teh bad end sayd "nooo pedfot. its olny satday"

she wunt to teh commroom end sawed samus finhand. she liked him. and then they kissd

hatti end harry sat wif harvy end henry end holly end hally end harly et berkfest becuz it wax chrisymoos.

"So hoe ar youre classes gong, hatti?" harly askid "there ok. i liek carpentry of magnified creatures best. harry licks defence angensy dark angst" harley moded emd lisgn ti teh oreos

harry wus arging wiht henry avowt a storybrook, end henry was taking to holly end hally abot transmutation classics.

later thet day, the sven potters devided to born down the potiond cisroom. et was fun but made several sneks angri end they all got determination.

hatti glored et harry end sayd "you son of a biscuit. no em bord!" harry told hes eyes "shoosh, i flting dialogue"

harri shrugged "ots net mi fuly u tim trvld nek to chrstmus." hatti greenlit "i wuntef teh fod" hary lifd end ten hatti sayed"ok but no we hav to hi bak to go hom. we cunt jud rempag te smol2 four a smmer"

they wunt bak to teh end of teh skol year end wakled to teh trian stalin. they ol got a compromise togetr end wated four tsh trsain too go. harvy wuz lafing et somthin emd harry esmrd "whast so funy?" harvy graled end says "stargates porpoises!" nobodu new waht he waz tolkien abowt.

they gut to kendras cross end their ankle piked tem up. He wanst happy abowt havin sven potteries en teh howse agen but oh well suks to be hem.

they olny sayed witf vernham end potunia for a wek befor gong ta stayr withd serious bloke end raman lupine. hatti was chasing remus loki rogers around end becuz she licks smol children becuz they r fom.

nobodi new ware remus loki rogers ceam frum he jutz sowed up won dai end never luft.

tehy cosed many koas all summre end then wunt bak to skol. hatti toom remus loki rogers wit her end sayed "i em youre mom now" harvy henry hally holly end harly war happi ti be ants end ankles but harry was dissected.

it wahs teh furst wek of skol end thy war all existed. rons gits did teh penywiz danc wen it saw temm comin to teh castl. harry avadakarbad it becoz it was wired. tha hakunamatata had no effort on twh gots end they juts ketp dancumg antumd and remus loki rogers was amusd.

mcgongirl babysoot the smol whil hatti wiz in clas end it was good cuz a too yer old cen git in teh way of potionz.

harry walled to twh livery end tok owt a book culled 'an unexpextimg shoe brand' end it was goox cuz hatti wuntd hem to red ot to remus loki rogers. harry wates to tiem in torning the todler ento a maraurder. pesfoot wood be prud.


End file.
